Sunday, December 7, 2014

A Very Witchie Christmas “Witch Hunt” Contest

So… If you’ve been following my Facebook page, which… If you’re reading this… You do… You’ll know that for the last week I’ve been putting little hints in different posts on my blog. Just little dialogue snippets here and there and the instruction that the movie in question would be a known, but relatively obscure Christmas movie. At the end of the seven days, I would pick a winner to win an awesome little prize pack from moi. But I’m going to make you wait for the answer.

First I’m going to give you my top ten favorite Christmas movies.

So without further adieu…

10. Polar Express

Unarguably one of my favorite Christmas books as a child. I checked this book out at least once a month when I was a child. I could just get lost in the pages of this beautifully written, beautifully illustrated book. I’ve been reading this book to my children since they were born.

When they said they were coming out with a movie, I was pretty apprehensive. I was pretty sure they could never do the book any justice. Man was I wrong.


I loved the fact that they took all the iconic images from the book and put them in the movie. Every scene gave me goose bumps.


Especially this one. *sigh* it was so beautiful.


Everything was great until the characters moved or spoke. Then the spell was broken lol.


Tom Hanks was ok, but I could have done without him. He wasn’t in the book, so I figured he wasn’t really needed lol.

9. The Santa Clause (all of them)

If you grew up in the 90’s and don’t like Tim “The Tool-Man” Taylor… Well… Then you had issues.

When he was cast as Santa Claus in the seemingly never-ending stream of Santa Clause movies, I was pretty thrilled.


I mean, he makes a pretty awesome Santa Claus… Well, the makeup people made him into a pretty awesome Santa Claus.


And Bernard the Elf was Wednesday Adams’ crush only in semi-grown up form. And I had a major crush on him.


Even Molly Shannon made an ass out of herself. I still have to mute the part that she sings… It makes me cringe from head to toe LOL.

8. Prancer


I didn’t realize that this movie was out in 1987… NINTEEN EIGHTY SEVEN. What the heck. It’s not that old.

It’s a classic tale of a girl and a reindeer she found. Who just happened to be one of Santa’s reindeer, but no one would believe her.


Even her hot, sexy dad played by Sam Elliot. Man he melts my butter.


The only drawback to this movie is that every time it starts I start crying. Don’t even have to be at the sad parts. I automatically start crying.

7. Scrooged

Now I can’t stand many Bill Murray movies. I’ve withstood I don’t know how many replayings of Groundhog Day. I can’t stand What About Bob?. The man annoys the hell out of me. I don’t know why.


But he makes a fantastic Ebenezer Scrooge-like character. He plays a great ball-busting, back-breaking asshole but at the same time is just vulnerable enough to work under your skin. Plus his comedic timing in this movie is fabulous.


Ever since I saw this movie I’ve died to hit someone in the face with a toaster and laugh about it.


But… No matter how funny it is… This is the only Christmas movie that terrifies me lol.

6. A Muppet Christmas Carol

You can’t celebrate Christmas without the Muppets. I really didn’t get into this movie until I married Mr. Good Witch, but now I watch it every Christmas and sometimes in July LOL.


You can’t beat Miss Piggy’s hilarious antics and Kermit’s sniveling responses.


And I absolutely freaking love this version of Christmas Present. Gah. He’s so cuuuute!


Michael Caine makes a fabulous Ebenezer Scrooge.


These two guys…. UGH… Marley and Marley gets stuck in my head so freaking bad that it usually takes something equally as annoying to get it out.

5. A Christmas Story

I started watching A Christmas Story when A Christmas Story wasn’t cool. My dad was a great admirer of its creator, Jean Shepherd and I grew up listening to his tales of Ralph and The Old Man. So of course, I’ve seen every single movie adaptation of his books close to million times. And A Christmas Story was no exception.

My dear, sweet sister had to watch A Christmas Story every time it came on TV… A few times on VHS to supplement her addiction and when TBS started showing 24 hour blocks of A Christmas Story? All bets were off.

I was oversaturated with A Christmas Story, so that’s why it doesn’t rank higher than number five. But I love it none the less and my family basks in the glow of electric sex every Christmas thanks to my mini leg lamp.


I learned that you should never accept a triple dog dare. And that there’s always one friend that’s stupid enough to accept it.


I learned REALLY quick that I was so thrilled that 1. I didn’t have a single aunt that was crafty enough to make me a pink bunny suit and 2. That my grandma wasn’t hip enough to know this movie and make me a pink bunny suit.


And every time I see a coon dog I want to scream (and sometimes do) YOU SUNSABITCHINBUMPASSES!!!!! And then hear the music play in my head lol

4. Mixed Nuts

Not only was this the answer to my giveaway, but Mixed Nuts is a family favorite. I love, love, love Steve Martin. Anything he’s in, I’ll watch it. It can be a horrible movie, but I’ll watch it anyways.


I mean… Leiv Schriber is a drag queen. How can you not love that?!


And Madeline Kahn plays the best delusional character in Mrs. Munchnik. And she’s my niece’s name sake. Bet ya didn’t know that.


It displays good, classic Adam Sandler as well.


How can you not love this rag-tag bunch of misfits and the wonderful story they share?

3. Santa Claus (with Dudley Moore)

I can remember this was the ONE Christmas movie that my grandma and grandpa owned. And I LOVED it.

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Granted… I grew up watching Dudley Moore in Arthur, but the story of the Vendegum and how Santa and Mrs. Claus came to be was always so sweet and touching to me.


And of course, John Lithgow played a perfectly nice man to loathe. I still can’t stand him to this day. Not even in 3rd Rock from the Sun.


But it is such a sweet movie and everything. It does get kinda boring in some spots. And it’s far from a cult classic. Like as in it’s so freaking hard to even find screen caps of this freaking movie. But either way… I love it. My kids can’t stand it and don’t understand it, but I don’t care lol.

2. White Christmas

You can’t think about Christmas without thinking of THE quintessential Christmas movie… Irving Berlin’s White Christmas. I mean… It’s a friggin’ classic.


The story, is of course, completely hokey. The sets…. About as hokey as the story… But the music and the costuming is phenomenal.


This right here is one of my favorite scenes in this movie. I love Vera Ellen’s costuming in this scene!


UGH!!! It’s so darned pretty!!!


And of course, all of Rosemary Clooney’s costumes were just as pretty. This was another of my favorite songs… Sisters… I love singing this one!


Hehehehehehe *giggles uncontrolably*

1. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation


And probably half the populations as well.

Again… My dad raised my sister and I on all things National Lampoon… All the Vacation movies… Animal House… The occasional sneak of my dad’s Lampoon magazine collection.


Thanks to Clark W. Griswold, I have cultivated my love for outdoor illumination. Granted, it’s nothing near as fancy as what Clark would do, but someday… Someday…


Christmas Vacation made me realize that while my dysfunctional family was pretty wild and crazy, it would never be near as bad as their family… At least I can say none of my cousins or uncles stood outside in their bathrobe, emptying their chemical toilet into the sewage system. Have you checked your shitter lately?


So while you may lament about your family… Don’t worry… There’s worse out there… In the mean time… SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where’s Eddie? Doesn’t he eat these things?!

Ok… So now I’m done rambling and you’ve hopefully been sitting here reading this, patiently waiting to get to the end to see who won the wonderful little gift set that I have waiting for you…

You don’t need to wait any longer….

So without further adieu….

The winner is….

Drum roll please….


And the winner is:

Amanda Lawson!!!!!!

Please message me your address on the Facebook page!!!


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